Disordered Truth

"Where do you go to get Anorexia?"

2008-04-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

The following is an essay that I wrote for my English class this semester.

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“Where do you go to Get Anorexia?”

In America today, there are over nine million reported cases of individuals suffering from Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and ED-NOS [eating disorder not otherwise specified], which has risen from less than seven million over the last ten years (National Eating Disorder Association). Once widely ignored diseases, eating disorders have come to the foreground of conversation in the modern medical community as professionals wrack their brains trying to discover the reason behind this persistent rise. All the while, the major contributing factor to this grave occurrence is right beneath their fingertips: The Internet.

When you type “Pro-ana” [which stands for “pro-anorexia”] into the google search engine, you receive 1,380,000 results, plus another 162,000 for “pro-mia” [pro-bulimia]. In contrast if you were to type “eating disorder recovery” you would be presented with a meager 735,000. Even with no further information than this, you can undoubtedly see that the stand that the general Internet public takes on eating disorders is a damaging and repulsive one.

Pro-Anorexia/Bulimia websites are essentially an instruction manual to eating disorders. Providing the public with ‘meal’ plans consisting of little nutrition and even littler caloric value, exercise plans that would strain Olympians, descriptive ways by which to further hide your existing disordered practices from friends and loved ones, “thinspirational” photos of sickly, emaciated men and women, and a slue of ways to subside your desperate hunger, these websites and forums take today’s youth by the hand and lead them, step by step, into a world of insecurity and unhealthy habits.

Because the effect that these sites can have on the rise in eating disorders among today’s youth is directly related to the size of their potential audiences, a factor that we should take into consideration is the access that America’s children and teens have to these sites, and to the Internet in general. According to a 2007 survey done by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 93% of teens between the ages of 12 and 17 use the Internet (Pew Internet & American Life Project pg. 1). This number is rising all the time. With knowledge that the majority of today’s youth is on the Internet [often widely unsupervised] along with the ever rising percentage of teens who suffer from eating disorders every day, it is clear that someone needs to take responsibility for the images and ideas we are exposing them to.

The aforementioned survey also includes data stating that 28% of those surveyed admitted to using the Internet as a method of finding information about dieting and physical fitness (Pew Internet & American Life Project pp. 25-27). While there are many healthful and credible dietary sources available on the web, is an average child between the ages of 12 and 17 really going to be able to determine which sources are healthy for them? The likelihood of a weight-conscious young teen falling into the enticing trap that is the pro-eating disorder community as a means of subsiding their insecurities is all too high.

The fact that these sites are free to operate with very limited public demand for restrictions and/or bans despite the obvious eating disorder epidemic on our hands today is out-and-out sickening. The way in which they glamorize starvation behind the mask of celebrity and happiness magnetizes the media-hungry youth.

Creators and maintainers of these pages argue that viewing and utilizing their sites is a matter of personal choice and self-control. But when your target market is a group of people whose main dilemma is obviously the ability to sustain a healthy view of what control means, this argument falls short.

Renowned actress Shelly Winters once jokingly said, “Where do you go to get anorexia?”. My answer to this would be: the family computer.

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Works Cited

"Statistics: Eating Disorders and Their Precursors." National Eating Disorder Awareness. 2006. Feb. 26, 2008 .Smith, Aaron, Amanda Lenart, Mary

Madden, and Alexandra R. McGill. "Teens and Social Media." Pew Internet & American Life Project. Dec. 19, 2007. Feb. 27, 2008 .

NEDAW [Day 7]

2008-03-01T16:51:00.000-08:00

Today, I would like to start by thanking you all for reading! I don’t believe that you could even begin to guess how much your views have meant to me; I am truly touched. This week has been motivating, inspiring, moving, …emotional, and draining...

I am honored to say that my ED is no longer a moment-by-moment struggle.

I want to bring attention to the fact that just because I have an insider’s view doesn’t mean that I’m an expert. My blogs for this week have been based on my own personal experiences, accompanied by my own personal observations; yes, I referenced statistics, facts etc…but I barely even skimmed the surface. The topics that I spoke about go much further in depth, and there is a lot more to know than a weeks worth of blogs could cover.

I hope that if you read something you found interesting, you will strive to learn more about it; but even if this is not the case, I hope that you were able to take away some new knowledge in the things that I have had to say.

I hope that if you are struggling with an eating disorder [whether it be diagnosed or undiagnosed], you will find the strength to reach out to someone who can help you discover the path to recovery.

I hope that if you know someone who is struggling, you can have the strength to be a friend if/when they need you.

I hope that I have managed to inspire someone, in some small way.

Even if you were in no way enthused by my blogs this week, I am very grateful that you gave me a chance, and took the time to read them.

So now today, the final day of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2008, I am happy to share you with the following video that I have created, and I am proud to say that I HAVE RECOVERED.

NEDAW [Day 6]

2008-02-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

"The Secret Life of Cait"

[Warning, today's blog is far less objective, and get's incredibly personal..]

In the process of constructing today's blog, I had a bit of a mini-breakdown. You see, the point I wanted to make with today's blog is that: "Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean that a serious problem isn't there". I was planning on making this point by revealing/posting blogs and livejournal entries that were previously posted as PRIVATE.

But as I was going back through the years, and through the various accounts that I have had…I realized that I had written far more private, ED related blogs than I originally thought. This fact really tore into me. I ended up having to re-read dozens and dozens of disturbing entries that I barely even remember writing.

I had almost forgotten how deeply my eating disorder had affected me for so many years. I suppose this is a wonderful thing, to be so far into my recovery that I don't even remember how terribly my disorder hurt me…But it broke my heart to relive it….

Now, because of the unexpected volume of previously private entries, I have been forced to re-work my original plans for this blog. I now present you with 3 simple blog/LJ entries and 2 poems that you have never seen before.

I hope that with these I have been able to condense things down to a readable amount, while still illustrating this fact: Your happy, healthy looking friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/family members/class mates/fellow employees/neighbors/etc. can easily be dealing with very emotionally dangerous and life threatening thoughts and issues…no matter what they tell you, or how they act.

[If you do not want to read all of this, I suggest reading the "December 12^th 2006" entry at the very least. It should give you a little more than the basic idea…]

May 19^th 2006

ok if I fast all day tomorrow and eat absolutely nothing until we get to prom, and then tell tyler I don't feel very well and only eat a little bit, I should be able to stick to my fasting. I really don't want to give up all day just because I HAVE to eat at night. so nothing but water and tea (and possibly 1 carrot [35cals]) all day until prom.

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June 5^th 2006

I feel positively blank today. I had the best weekend of my life. It was so fantastic to be with my friends non stop, and It left me with little time to eat and NO time to purge, which, on a "normal" scale, is really good.

Yesterday I ate half of a cheesecake. HALF OF A FUCKING CHEESE CAKE in one sitting. I left my own pool party to hide in my room and eat a fucking cheesecake. ::sigh:: I didn't purge...I think AV was happy to hear that, I think I've never been more disappointed in my whole life..

Today I decided to fast again, but then fucked that all up at lunch when I ate half of Shane's roast beef sandwich, 1/4 of a biscuit, and half an orange. I figure if I don't eat anything the rest of the day I'll be happy with my self.

one problem, Tyler's coming home with me. We always eat dinner together when he comes over, he gets worried when I don't eat, and if I dont fix my self a plate he basically forces me to eat some of his food..and theres no way to purge when he's there unless I take a shower in the hall bathroom and purge there but...I think he's getting suspicious of that as well. ::sigh:: I'll just tell him I'm not feeling well AGAIN, I guess, and hope for the best. Or maybe insist that we go for a walk and talk at the park and keep him tied up there until he has to go home so he doesnt think about me not eating. If we arent at home to eat, then it's not my fault that I didn't. But I always hate sending him home on an empty stomach.

There's another good thing that would come of me being with different people and "just dating" and not having a stable relationship. None of them would be around me long enough to notice that I'm not eating..or they wouldn't stay at my house alllllll day so I could purge what I did eat as soon as they left. And they wouldn't know my body enough to notices the changes that it's always going through. And they wouldn't know ME enough to notice the changes that I'M always going through...

it's a sad day when you consider leaving the man you love just to continue being able to hide your eating disorder....

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Sunday, August 27, 2006
10:04 AM - Sick in Silence: The Secret Life of Cait

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I think is "how long can I last today? How many pills should I take? How many hours should I run? How much caffeine can I pump into my helpless, rejecting body?" Every day is a struggle, and every day it gets harder to bear. Im at constant war with my self and with my bodys signals of hunger and pain. Im in a constant state of paranoia over the fact that at any given moment on any given day, I may just be discovered for who and what I truly am.

When I look at my self over all I see this beautiful person and this beautiful body because thats what everyone tells me they see in me, but some how even though I know its there, I cant really SEE it, I cant really believe it unless Im looking at my self on an empty stomach. Its almost as though I feel like I have to suffer to get this beautiful body that life blessed me with. When I starve Im the only one who sees the difference in me. Often times the scale cant even tell too much, but I look back on the week of a totaled 200 calories and 7000 mg of caffeine and 14 hours of cardio and I fall to my knees in pain as the diet pills tear apart the lining of my hollowed innards and I feel like Ive worked to look the way I do. I feel like Ive earned it.

Im beautiful when Im suffering. Im beautiful when I earn it. Im beautiful when Im as helpless as humanly possible.

I wish I werent so sick. I wish I didnt feel the need to torture my self, but then I look at the girl in my ballet class, each vertebra clearly visible and all I can think is I wish I had the strength to make it there. I dont want to look like that, I really really dont Im happy with my weight and my figure but I look at her and I see her struggle, I see her effort, and I only wish that I could see my own so clearly some times
I'm sick in silence for if I speak up, those who love me will take away the only torture that truly makes me happy and complete... but I can't help but wish some days, that someone would look at me and SEE past the silence, to the struggle and effort and determination with in.

I wonder what I could accomplish if I put this much drive into other aspects of my life...

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Dec 12^th 06

"and it was almost a confession"

I woke up and I did to my self what I always do. I felt my stomach burning with hunger and the first thing I did was reach for my notebook and pencil, and start downing a water bottle from the fridge, walked to the bathroom to fill another bottle, and made some tea.

Then a little later this morning I did to my self what I always do. I reached for the tape measure and compared today's measurements to those of yesterday, and last week, and last year...and cried when the difference wasn't big enough for my liking.

Early this afternoon (after another 3 bottles of water) I did to my self what I always do. I promised my self it was just going to be that little 22.5 calorie slice of ham. And then it turned to 2, and 4, and then a can of mandarin oranges and then a ton of trail mix and a yogurt and a bag of candy and a burrito and chicken and peppers and a bowl of cereal, and another bowl of cereal, and another bag of candy... And then after crying through all of that face stuffing, I did to my self what I always do. I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom with the water running, my face in the toilet, and my fingers down my throat. And then I waited for my mom to leave so I could go out side and smoke, so that I wouldn't be hungry, and i wouldn't do this again.

And now, I'm sitting here in front of my computer, and I'm doing something I've never had the balls to do before. I'm consciously deciding to make a change. I am facing the mirror and accepting that I'm better than this. I am.

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Starving
8/28/07 & 8/30/07

Threatened by the taste, of insecure emotions
broken in the face, of my hungered devotion
exposed by fits of tempt, hidden by disaster
moving in slow motion, always dying to go faster
focused on the pain, only way to make me stronger
angered by the race, I try to run a little longer
pills to numb the ache of the time so unforgiving
suffer through the actions of the sinners while I'm living
tempted by the thought of breaking down and giving in
tortured by the fact: I play a game no one can win
defy what's "necessary", live off nothing but the drive
behind this poker face, inside I'm starving to survive.

-Cait L. S.

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Weak and forgiving
afraid and alone
desperate and risky
frozen to stone

a perfect new host
for a perfect disease
controlling your mind
taking over with ease

I trap your existence
saturating all thought
a prisoner of self now
despite how you fought

Your only kept secret
your deepest desire
so frozen and anxious
no truth to admire

distort your reflection
I heavy the scale
I bite off the hunger
'till passion prevails

So fight me with anger
and push me away
you try to ignore me
but still I won't sway

And soon I become you
yes soon we agree
that the best worst thing for you
is embracing me.

NEDAW [Day 5]

2008-02-28T18:28:00.000-08:00

The world of eating disorders is far more extensive than simply the better known Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa. Even if we were to isolate just these two disorders on their own, we would come to find that the specifics of each person who suffers often varies greatly from the generalized tendencies that come to mind when we hear these words.

For today's blog, I have gathered some bulleted information on disorders you possibly have never heard of before, and probably have never known much about along with additional information on some subcategories of the aforementioned disorders.

[okay, I know, this is kind of a cop-out from writing up my own blog as I have been doing for many of the previous days…but this is information that I am very passionate about sharing, and I don't think it matters WHO wrote about it, just as long as I help to pass the message along!

I found the following information at http://www.anred.com/defslesser.html and take no credit for its content

Less-well-known eating disorders and related problems

Purging disorder

· Not yet a formal diagnosis, but seems to be separate from bulimia nervosa. At present, falls into the category of "Eating disorder not otherwise specified: EDNOS."

· The person purges (vomits, abuses laxatives, diuretics, emetics, etc.) but does not binge eat.

· Person maintains normal or near normal weight.

· Researchers suspect that purging disorder may be more common than anorexia nervosa and bulimia combined

· There is a scholarly discussion of purging disorder in the International Journal of Eating Disorders 2005; 38:191-100. A public librarian or a research librarian in your school or local hospital can tell you how to obtain a copy.

Anorexia Athletica (compulsive exercising)

· Not a formal diagnosis. The behaviors are usually a part of anorexia nervosa, bulimia, or obsessive-compulsive disorder.

· The person repeatedly exercises beyond the requirements for good health.

· May be a fanatic about weight and diet.

· Steals time to exercise from work, school, and relationships.

· Strives to achieve and master ever more difficult challenges. Forgets that physical activity can be fun.

· Defines self-worth in terms of performance. Is rarely or never satisfied with athletic achievements. Small satisfactions are fleeting. Does not savor victory. Pushes on to the next challenge immediately.

· Justifies excessive behavior by defining self as a "special" elite athlete.

· Compulsive exercising is not an official diagnosis as are anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. We include it here because many people who are preoccupied with food and weight exercise compulsively in attempts to control weight. The real issues are not weight and performance excellence but rather control and self-respect. For more information, go to Athletes With Eating Disorders and Males and Females and Obligatory Exercise.

Body dysmorphic disorder

· People with BDD are excessively concerned about appearance, in particular perceived flaws of face, hair, and skin. They are convinced these flaws exist in spite of reassurances from friends and family members who usually can see nothing to justify such intense worry and anxiety.

· The person with an eating disorder says, "I am so fat." The person with BDD says, "I am so ugly."

· BDD often includes social phobias. Sufferers are shy and withdrawn in new situations and with unfamiliar people.

· BDD affects about two percent of the people in the United States. It strikes males and females equally. Seventy percent of cases appear before age eighteen.

· BDD sufferers are at elevated risk for despair and suicide. In some cases they undergo multiple, unnecessary plastic surgeries.

· BDD is thought to be a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is not a variant of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa.

· BDD is treatable and begins with an evaluation by a physician and mental health care provider. Treatments thus far found to be effective include medication (especially meds that adjust serotonin levels in the brain) and cognitive-behavioral therapy. A clinician makes the diagnosis and recommends treatment based on the needs and circumstances of each person.

Muscle dysmorphic disorder ("bigorexia")

· A subtype of body dysmorphic disorder, described above.

· Sometimes called "bigorexia," muscle dysmorphia is the opposite of anorexia nervosa. People with this disorder obsess about being too small and undeveloped. They worry that they are too little and too frail. Even if they have good muscle mass, they believe their muscles are inadequate.

· We have more information about muscle dysmorphic disorder on another page in this site.

Orthorexia nervosa

· Not an official eating disorder diagnosis, but the concept is useful. The name was coined by Steven Bratman, M.D., to describe "a pathological fixation on eating 'proper' or 'pure' or 'superior' food." In everyday language, orthorexia is an unhealthy fixation on healthy eating.

· People with orthorexia nervosa feel superior to others who eat "improper" food, which might include non-organic or fun foods and items found in regular grocery stores, as opposed to health food stores.

· Orthorexics obsess over what to eat, how much to eat, how to prepare food "properly," and where to obtain "pure" and "proper" foods.

· Eating the "right" food becomes an important ,or even the primary, focus of life. One's worth or goodness is seen in terms of what one does or does not eat. Personal values, relationships, career goals, and friendships become less important than the quality and timing of what is consumed.

· Perhaps related to, or a type of, obsessive-compulsive disorder

Night-eating syndrome

· The person has little or no appetite for breakfast. Delays first meal for several hours after waking up. Is often upset about how much was eaten the night before.

· Most of the day's calories are eaten late in the day or at night.

· We have more information about night-eating syndrome on another page in this site.

Nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder

· Thought to be a sleep disorder, not an eating disorder

· Person eats while asleep or in a semi-conscious state. Has little or no memory of episode the next day and may be embarrassed or horrified to find evidence of behavior.

· May also sleep walk.

· We have more information about nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder on another page in this site.

Rumination syndrome

· Person eats, swallows, and then regurgitates food back into the mouth where it is chewed and swallowed again. Process may be repeated several times or for several hours per episode.

· Rumination may be voluntary or involuntary.

· Ruminators report that regurgitated material does not taste bitter, and that it is returned to the mouth with a gentle burp, not violent gagging or retching -- not even nausea.

· We have more information about rumination syndrome on another page in this site.

Gourmand syndrome

· Person is preoccupied with fine food, including its purchase, preparation, presentation, and consumption. S/he is less engaged than previously with friends, family, job, and other activities.

· Gourmand syndrome is very rare. Only 34 cases have been reported in medical literature. It is thought to be caused by injury to the
right side of the brain -- tumor, concussion, stroke, etc.

· Some symptoms overlap with obsessive-compulsive and addictive disorders.

· In spite of their "lusting after food" and enthusiastic consumption of it, people with gourmand syndrome do not seem to become fat. Nor do they vomit, abuse laxatives, or engage in other pathological weight-loss behaviors. They had normal relationships with food before the brain injury.

· Cognitive, behavioral, and motor impairments are common, probably also related to the brain injury. People are not particularly troubled by their new consuming interest.

· Treatment should begin with a neurologist or possibly a psychiatrist.

Pica

· A craving for non-food items such as dirt, clay, plaster, chalk, paper, or paint chips.

· We have more information about pica on another page in this site.

Chewing and spitting

· The person puts food in his/her mouth, tastes it, chews it, and then spits it out.

· Some people believe this behavior is a separate eating disorder. It is not. It is a calorie-control strategy commonly seen in anorexia nervosa, and sometimes in bulimia and eating-disorder-not-otherwise-specified. The person is creative, allowing some experience and enjoyment of food but avoiding all but a few calories. Since essential nutrients are not incorporated into the body, chewing and spitting can be just as harmful to health as are starvation dieting and binge eating followed by purging.

NEDAW [Day 4]

2008-02-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

When I was beginning the process of reaching towards the road that is recovery, I needed a sounding board, but couldn’t reach out to my friends. They were largely unaware, and often times choosing to be blind to the situation. I knew that I needed a crowed of people who would understand, so I turned to the internet, and a world of girls whose stories made me realize "okay…this IS a problem"

The wonderful thing was that I had found similarities, and was able to see my situation, and my problems in the life of someone else – as an outsider, for once. This was truly the only way for me to see it as a problem.

The down side? How good do you think a girl who willingly denies herself food is at counseling someone else away from that life? You guessed it: not very good!

The sad truth is, while we certainly weren’t cheering on each others self destructive behavior, we [in general] stood in the position against hypocrisy. Who am I to tell you not to do what I do every day?

Therapy wasn’t an option [so sick of that], friends wouldn’t even know how to begin approaching the situation – internet groups were the cheapest, easiest, most convenient, most private solution. But as I mentioned before, when it comes to things like eating disorders, surrounding yourself with people who share your problem often makes it that much more difficult to overcome it.

It seemed that no matter how healthy I WANTED to be, thoughts like: "She only weighs "x"? I could weight "x". I don’t really have a problem; I’m nowhere near as bad as her…maybe if I get that bad it will be something that I need to recover from. I don’t deserve to RECOVER, there’s nothing wrong with me…not compared to them; I must be so insulting to them and their diseases by even toying with the idea that I have a problem" were never far from my mind.

"Thinspiration":

Some of you may have heard this word before, many of you have probably either never heard it, or simply don’t know what it means. "Thinspiration" is just as it sounds: Thin + Inspiration – That is, pictures [typically of very very very thin, and often time sick g; occasionally really really fat people {to ’inspire’ you not to become them..}], poems, graphics, drawings etc. Anything that might help you to convince yourself that you need to be smaller. Usually, though, this word is used to describe the aforementioned pictures.

Now, I was never a big believer in thinspiration; I thought that anyone who needed to INSPIRE themselves in order to continue with their disorder had an entire different problem all together, and that they were making a mockery of people who truly suffered through their "wannarexia" [see below section for details on this term]. I felt that they were furthering the misconception that was "Stupid Myth 8". Now, with a clearer mind, I have removed myself from the situation and realized that everyone suffers differently; there is no WRONG way to have an eating disorder, and just because someone may not be having the same reactions to their issues as you are, doesn’t mean their situation is any less serious.

Regardless of whether or not I was one to use "thinspiration" to further my disorder, seeing dozens and dozens of pictures of teeny tiny people decorating the profiles of my "recover support group" friends every single day did not make "getting fat" any easier.

"Wannarexia":

Another HUGE problem with the internet "recovery" world, and with the way society views eating disorders, is the amount of girls who FAKE IT. Now don’t misunderstand, I do not deny that a girl willing to FAKE something so serious and terrible just to get attention has a problem, but an eating disorder isn’t it…

Opening up about your eating disorder is NOT an easy thing…chances are it came about because of some form of trust issues to begin with…so when your only source of support is riddled with despicable liars, you spend most of your time finding someone to trust, and very little time actually talking about your problem and advancing your recovery.

I can say in all honesty that I spent in excess of 80% of my time in these groups hunting down, exposing, and/or arguing with these "wannarexics". Yeah, that doesn’t sound very healing at all, does it?

But there will always be something on the "con" side of the list, no matter what path it is that you are heading down, so at the end of the day you need to decide if the PRO’s make it worthwhile.

I learned a lot from internet support groups. Being able to see the suffering of others, and having the experience to empathize with them truly healed my heart and soul. It taught me how to love myself and others again, built my strength, compassion, and hope and inevitably opened the doors to my recovery.

The last piece of this topic that needs discussing is the OTHER kind of internet eating disorder group: the PRO-ana/PRO-mia [Pro anorexia/Pro bulimia] movement. That is, those who believe ED’s are a lifestyle, something to be proud of, something to embrace….But this is a topic I will reserve for later blog, possibly not as a part of the NEDAW series, because it demands quite a bit of attention, time, and typing.

Thank you for reading.

Never be afraid to reach out for the help that you need, and start the journey to a better you.

LifeAfterED.com

NEDAW [Day 3]

2008-02-26T17:57:00.000-08:00

The Elaboration of "Stupid Myth 8"

If you refer back to my NEDAW day 1 blog [which you can do more quickly by clicking the hyperlink above], you can re-read [or perhaps read for the first time] one of the many "stupid myths" that goes along with the public idea of eating disorders.

To sum it up, "Stupid Myth 8" implies that all of those with an eating disorder are simply starving them selves, restricting themselves, purging via self induced vomiting, laxative abuse, excessive exercise etc. are simply doing so because they want to be thin and beautiful – In short, because the media tells us to.

This misconception is implying that this illness is nothing more than an exaggerated issue of vanity, and in fact, not an illness at all. Now this may seem harmless enough, but if you really dissect what this one belief can cause, you begin to realize that this ONE common mistruth is, in effect, the biggest barricade between a person suffering and their recovery.

Last semester, my beloved Anthropology professor said something that I wouldn't have expected to hear from someone who's profession is the study of human beings. Mirroring the ideas of "Stupid Myth 8", it was something along the lines of eating disorders being a culturally influenced Western issue. He explained that these girls starved themselves because the media promotes thinness as the ideal of beauty.

It was simply something he mentioned momentarily at the end of a lecture one day, and he had clearly not meant anything harmful by it, but for obvious reasons, it stuck in my mind.

So what exactly is wrong with this assumption? For one, while girls do make up the largest percentage of people with eating disorders, they aren't the only ones suffering; taking that one step farther – the actual percentage of males who suffer is likely significantly higher than the reported percentage, because society dictates that an eating disorder is a "female disease"…so many men never admit to their problems, or seek treatment.

Second is the idea that this is solely a "Western" problem. Of the some 70 million people who suffer from an eating disorder world wide, only 24 million of them can be found in the United States!

Thirdly, assuming that people have eating disorders to BECOME THIN [assuming this actually had much of any truth to it] only accounts for the variations of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa, completely disregarding the disorders that DON'T MAKE YOU THIN, the most obvious, but certainly not the only, example of this is Binge Eating Disorder.

Okay, so the general public doesn't understand your situation quite as much as you would like them to, what harm does it really do? Believe it or not, it does a LOT of harm. Because of these terribly common mistaken beliefs, MOST INSURANCE COMPANIES DO NOT PROVIDE ADAQUATE COVERAGE FOR EATING DISORDER TREATMENT.

Statistics time:

- Only 1 in 10 men and women with eating disorders receive treatment and only 35% of people with eating disorders that receive treatment get treatment at a specialized facility for eating disorders.

- About 80% of the girls and women who have accessed care for their eating disorders do not get the intensity of treatment they need to stay in recovery—they are often sent home weeks earlier than the recommended stay. The more important factor is that only once weight is restored to within 90-95% of the normal range, can counseling and medications make a lasting impact. Discharging a patient before than increases chances of relapse. In fact, a patient's relapse rate is 50% if released while her weight is still below 85%.

- 96% of eating disorder professionals believe their anorexic patients are put in life-threatening situations because their health insurance policies mandate early discharge.

So what? How many people REALLY die from ED's?

- Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

- The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15-24 years old.

- 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems.

So how much harm do misconceptions about the causes of eating disorders REALLY do? Enough to mean the difference between life and death for millions of our fellow human beings.

NEDAW [Day 2]

2008-02-25T19:01:00.000-08:00

So I sat down and tried to think of what my topics for National Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2008 would be. Should I incorporate statistics? Tell the stories of those who have lost their lives from their diseases? Or how about the stories of those who survived to recovery? Or the stories of the friends and family members who had to suffer along with their disordered loved one[s]? Should I tell my own person stories of falling into my lowest of lows, or better yet à my journey into recovery. Should I research different methods to recovery, and talk about specific treatment facilities?

That's a lot of important topics to try and squeeze into 6 simple, quick-read blogs!

It took a lot of mulling over, but I finally settled on this idea: I'm just going to start writing, and see what comes out! So, good luck following along!

-----

Today, I would like to share with you some of the lessons I had to learn the hard way [just incase you are suffering, or you know someone who is {or might possibly be}]

Some of the most important things to consider once you have actively begun taking steps in your recovery are your relationships. I'd gladly be the first to tell you that you're going to find out who your true friends are. There are a lot of selfish f**ks out there, and their true colors will be BEAMING through; recovery takes a lot of self-dedication, it requires a lot of "me" time, and many of us have friends who need things to be all about THEM all the time…if they are resistant to change, these people likely won't be your friends for much longer.

This fact is an issue that holds a lot of people [with any kind of addiction or problem] back from ever succeeding in their recovery. A common trend among people with eating disorders is the need to please all of those around them – putting everyone else FIRST – [in fact, it can often be the cause]. So if we are faced with the dilemma of:

Take care of our selves and upset/lose our friends

vs.

Continue pleasing those around us, possibly at our own expense

…the choice is often depressingly clear.

It is extraordinarily difficult to muster up the strength that it takes to pursue recovery, and it certainly isn't made any easier when you have to ALSO find the strength to rise above the need to please, and the idea of losing one or many friendships in the process. Unfortunately, your friends might not be willing to bend and make the changes necessary here…and you may be left with the aforementioned decision. You may need to find that strength.

There are always positives to every situation [no matter how negative it appears to be at the time], and one of the positives here is that, when it is all "over"…you will be left with friends who are truly loving, dedicated, caring, sincere, and with out a doubt a treasure to be valued. And with this, you will also have the knowledge necessary to weed out untrue 'friends' in the future.

If you are a friend to someone who is suffering through an eating disorder, a drug addiction, suicidal tendencies, depression, verbal/physical/sexual abuse, self injury etc., GET OVER YOUR SELF and accept that IT CAN'T ALWAYS BE ABOUT YOU; there are a lot of things in this world that are more important than your bad hair day, or your love life – a life threatening condition affecting your "friends" life is one of them.

This one goes to all parties: Ignoring the problem DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T REAL.

How tough is it to be a friend?

NEDAW [Day 1]

2008-02-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time of year again National Eating Disorder Awareness Week!

I understand that unless you've suffered, you don't never will be able to really understand eating disorders and everything that go along with them, but you can understand MORE than you do now, and it IS important.
So, I went back to a post I made from last year filled with information from The Joy Project to try and bring some truth to very commonly believed myths. Please take the time to read these (there's only 8...it won't take you that long, and it will mean the world to a lot of people who suffer in silence every day).

Also, check out the joy project page that I linked above for more information =)

Myths About Eating Disorders:
[The myths presented here are myths that were discussed by eating disordered people on our message boards - The Joy Project.]

Stupid Myth 1: "You're not sick until you're emaciated."

In reality, only a very small percentage of people with eating disorders EVER reach the state of emaciation often portrayed in the media. The common belief that a person is only really sick if they're abnormally thin only compounds the feeling of normal- or over-weight ED'd people that they're not "good" at being "sick enough", which usually prevents them from seeking treatment and causes them to intensify their self-destructive behaviors. The 60-pound anorectic that is often highlighted in the media is actually a rarity, representing only a very tiny percentage of actual people with eating disorders. Of course, the media wants to show something dramatic, and the majority of people with eating disorders that are of relatively normal weights just aren't 'shocking' enough to draw in all the people that want to see a train wreck. Drama sells. It's not reality.

At the same time, a person can be malnourished regardless of their current weight. For example, an extremely obese person may be malnourished because they only eat junk food and are missing important nutrients, a normal-weight person may be malnourished if they cut out all protein sources, or a bulimic of any weight can have very low levels of specific nutrients that are often lost during purging, either through vomiting or laxative abuse. Anyone who has ever been to an inpatient eating disorder unit can tell you that there are people of ALL sizes and weights who need treatment. The idea that you're not sick until you look like a walking skeleton is completely false, and potentially dangerous!

Stupid Myth 2: "The cure for an eating disorder is food."

Eating disorders are MENTAL illnesses. They are caused many factors, including: depression, family stress, self-esteem, internalized anger, societal pressure, media images, lack of knowledge about nutrition, etc. Also, restrictive eating and bulimia have similar effects on the brain as addictions. In short, the brain basically gets 'addicted' to the caloric deficit. Increasing eating behaviors actually causes a version of 'withdrawals', which results in intense anxiety, depression, irritability, potential dehydration and electrolyte disturbances (also 'refeeding syndrome'), and potential suicidal ideation. Telling a person to 'just eat' is similar to telling a heroin addict to 'just suck it up' when going through withdrawals--- they need support!!!!

Stupid Myth 3: "Bulimics just don't have enough Self control to be anorexic."

This is not true. Bingeing has been linked to changing levels of tryptophan and serotonin in the brain, and purging has similar effects. Both can cause a 'high' that can be quite addicting. While eating disordered people who primarily restrict may desire to maintain a constant level of mental 'numbness', bulimics tend to seek out regular 'highs'. At the same time, many anorectics do not binge, but they purge normal meals. In short, the statement above is just not correct.

Stupid Myth 4: "Anorexics never eat anything at all."

Anorexics DO eat. They just eat smaller portions, lower-calorie foods, or strange food combinations. Some may eat three candy bars in the morning and nothing else all day. Others may eat lettuce and mustard every 2 hours. It depends on the person. Pure cessation of eating is extremely, extremely rare, and would result in death from malnutrition in a matter of weeks.

Stupid Myth 5: "If you put someone with an eating disorder in a treatment center, they will be "fixed" by the time they come out."

Now, let's think for a minute: A person with an eating disorder gets FORCED to eat every day for weeks until their 'worst fear' actually happens- they gain weight. Then, they are released from the hospital immediately after gaining large amounts of weigh. Then, following their release, they are sent right back into the same social/familial/life situation that they were in before (the situation they were in that they were using ED behaviors to cope with), only now they have had their primary coping mechanism taken away.(dysfunctional as it may be, an ED DOES provide a form of comfort to the person. Of course it is NOT an IDEAL form of coping, but one cannot deny that a person often uses their ED to shield themselves from painful stressors in their life) It's no wonder that relapse rates are very high.

Stupid Myth 6: All eating disordered people are in denial about their problem

Just plain not true. A true myth. TONS of people who suffer from eating disorder KNOW that they have a problem, they just don't know how to fix it, and they don't know how to ask for help.

Stupid Myth 7: "Eating disorders, addictions, suicide attempts, and SI are just please for attention. If you don't pay people who have them any mind, the disorders will go away."

First, if someone was going to lengths that extreme in order to 'get attention', perhaps it's because they have a very REAL need that is NOT currently being met? The thing is, eating disorders have many causes. One of them can be loneliness or isolation, or the mistaken belief that no one will care about them until they are sufficiently beaten up and mistreated in every possible way. It is a common trait of eating-disordered people that they often have difficulty speaking up and asking for support in a healthy manner. If someone is acting out in such a dramatic way, it is a safe bet that they NEED attention- desperately. Ignoring that person would only worsen the behaviors and cause them to feel that their beliefs that 'no one cares' or that they are not 'worth it' are being proven.

Stupid Myth 8: "Eating disorders are just a strive to be thin and beautiful."

There is a very important distinction between 'vanity' and the goals of someone with an eating disorder. Someone who wants to be thin for the sheer enjoyment of being 'beautiful' or 'perfect' can be considered 'vain'. However, an eating disordered person is often motivated by the FEAR of being something AWFUL. They are not trying to reach a state of 'perfect'. Rather, they are trying to reach a state where there is nothing about them that makes them vulnerable to ridicule or harsh judgment by others. They are trying to reach a state of 'normal', because they feel that they are flawed to begin with. They want to 'fix' their 'flaws' because they feel that having flaws is a horrible, terrible thing to do.

At the same time, sometimes people with EDs can find comfort in making themselves UNattractive to the opposite sex. This is especially common in people who have experienced sexual abuse or assault. By making themselves unattractive, they feel that they become less of a target to the opposite sex, and therefore less likely to be raped and re-victimized.